I just want to be a Gap Girl.

And I want Chris Farley to rise from the dead.

I could just keep watching this on repeat forever, and it’s still hysterical.

And so is the fact that somehow Adam Sandler becomes a lot more attractive dressed as a woman…

Ladies and Gentleman - The Royal BJ has arrived. The best part about this photo has got to be the terrified child. That’s right sweetheart, cover your ears - so you don’t have to hear the sound of Princess Diana turning over in her grave. [Full credit for posting this pic first goes to the hilarious Nicole Mercado.]
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Ladies and Gentleman - The Royal BJ has arrived.

The best part about this photo has got to be the terrified child.

That’s right sweetheart, cover your ears - so you don’t have to hear the sound of Princess Diana turning over in her grave.

[Full credit for posting this pic first goes to the hilarious Nicole Mercado.]

Look! It’s Harry Belafonte!!

If he was popular in the 80’s. Oh and DEAF.

Brother from another Mother!? Clearly Carlos Santana and Muammar Gaddafi were separated at birth. Even though these two dudes literally have nothing in common, with the exception of rocking some pretty sweet shades. I can only imagine what a conversation would be like between the two of them: *Ring ring* Gaddafi: Hello? Santana: Hey Muammar! Gaddafi: What’s up Carlos! Santana: Listen, I’ve been meaning to tell you something. Gaddafi: Oh really? What is it? Santana: You’ve got to change your evil ways… Gaddafi: Okay, yeah, I know. Satana: Wait, I wasn’t done! Gaddafi: Oh sorry. Santana: …baby. Gaddafi: Right. I mean I don’t actually think that’s— Santana: This can’t go ooooonnnnnn… Gaddafi: Well, yes that may be true, but you see my country is— Santana: Yeah, Yeah, YEAAAAAAAAAAAAUUUUHHHHHH!!!! Gaddafi: (Silence) Are you finished now? Santana: I guess so. Gaddafi: Okay, because it’s important for— Santana: Lord knows - you’ve -  got - to change!!!!! Gadaffi: *Hangs up phone* Satana: Hello?
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Brother from another Mother!?

Clearly Carlos Santana and Muammar Gaddafi were separated at birth.

Even though these two dudes literally have nothing in common, with the exception of rocking some pretty sweet shades. I can only imagine what a conversation would be like between the two of them:

*Ring ring*

Gaddafi: Hello?

Santana: Hey Muammar!

Gaddafi: What’s up Carlos!

Santana: Listen, I’ve been meaning to tell you something.

Gaddafi: Oh really? What is it?

Santana: You’ve got to change your evil ways…

Gaddafi: Okay, yeah, I know.

Satana: Wait, I wasn’t done!

Gaddafi: Oh sorry.

Santana: …baby.

Gaddafi: Right. I mean I don’t actually think that’s—

Santana: This can’t go ooooonnnnnn…

Gaddafi: Well, yes that may be true, but you see my country is—

Santana: Yeah, Yeah, YEAAAAAAAAAAAAUUUUHHHHHH!!!!

Gaddafi: (Silence) Are you finished now?

Santana: I guess so.

Gaddafi: Okay, because it’s important for—

Santana: Lord knows - you’ve -  got - to change!!!!!

Gadaffi: *Hangs up phone*

Satana: Hello?

If only that axe was a cowbell… Happy Birthday to the oddest 68 year old man in the world. Even without the Alice Cooper costume and the True Blood teeth you still totally freak me out. But damn it, you’re good buddy. You’re reeeaaalllll good.
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If only that axe was a cowbell…

Happy Birthday to the oddest 68 year old man in the world.

Even without the Alice Cooper costume and the True Blood teeth you still totally freak me out.

But damn it, you’re good buddy. You’re reeeaaalllll good.

For everyone who didn’t know what happened to Alicia Silverstone: I found her! In the make-up aisle at Walgreens! Kinda sad huh? It was on the bottom shelf too. Like this is the best she got? Not even her own clothing line at Wal-Mart? It’s really too bad. Seems like the media industry has left her a little Clueless… [Insert bad pun drum roll. Ba-da-dum!] As if.
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For everyone who didn’t know what happened to Alicia Silverstone:

I found her! In the make-up aisle at Walgreens!

Kinda sad huh? It was on the bottom shelf too. Like this is the best she got? Not even her own clothing line at Wal-Mart?

It’s really too bad. Seems like the media industry has left her a little Clueless…

[Insert bad pun drum roll. Ba-da-dum!]

As if.

Kobe Burgers for Everyone!! This is exactly what is wrong with America. Japan is devastated, destroyed and burning. Yet, we here, in the land of idiots are just as focused on food as ever before. Congratulations USA! We are now just a click away from being the worlds most ignorant nation. Head’s down and forks up. Let the games begin.
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Kobe Burgers for Everyone!!

This is exactly what is wrong with America.

Japan is devastated, destroyed and burning.

Yet, we here, in the land of idiots are just as focused on food as ever before.

Congratulations USA! We are now just a click away from being the worlds most ignorant nation.

Head’s down and forks up. Let the games begin.

I Heart Huckabee. Oh, no wait. I don’t. This guy is a fucking idiot and should be stoned, really slowly with really tiny pebbles.  And thankfully Dennis Diclaudi, political humor writer for Jon Stewart, knows exactly what’s up: Mike Huckabee Makes Brave Stance Against Natalie Portman Wow. Mike Huckabee, he is really putting on the conservative charm these days, no? While talking to conservative radio person Mike Medved yesterday, he came out with with both guns swinging (that’s a phrase, right?) against America’s unwed mother sweetheart, Bristol Palin. No, scratch that. Not her. Who’s that other America’s unwed mother sweetheart? Oh, that’s right… Mike Huckabee is highlighting what he considers a symbol of degraded American values: Oscar winner Natalie Portman. The former Arkansas governor and possible Republican presidential candidate criticized the actress this week on a conservative radio show for being pregnant and unmarried… Huckabee, a baptist minister who ran for the 2008 GOP presidential nomination, said when wealthy actresses have children without being married, they set a bad example for the rest of America. Clearly, minding your own fucking business is not a cherished American value. If it were, well, there would be no such thing as Mike Huckabee, presidential hopeful. There would only be, Mike Huckabee, guy you’ve never heard of. And, also, last I checked, Natalie Portman is engaged to the father of her unborn child. (Not that it should matter, but whatever.) And, also, I’m pretty sure she’s a 29-year-old woman who has graduated from Harvard University and is widely considered to be one of the more dedicated and hardworking actresses in Hollywood and only became pregnant after delivering her Oscar-winning performance in an Oscar-nominated film. But, yeah, I see his point. Terrible example for America. —Dennis DiClaudio March 4, 2011
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I Heart Huckabee.

Oh, no wait. I don’t. This guy is a fucking idiot and should be stoned, really slowly with really tiny pebbles. 

And thankfully Dennis Diclaudi, political humor writer for Jon Stewart, knows exactly what’s up:

Mike Huckabee Makes Brave Stance Against Natalie Portman

Wow. Mike Huckabee, he is really putting on the conservative charm these days, no?

While talking to conservative radio person Mike Medved yesterday, he came out with with both guns swinging (that’s a phrase, right?) against America’s unwed mother sweetheart, Bristol Palin.

No, scratch that. Not her. Who’s that other America’s unwed mother sweetheart? Oh, that’s right…

Mike Huckabee is highlighting what he considers a symbol of degraded American values: Oscar winner Natalie Portman.

The former Arkansas governor and possible Republican presidential candidate criticized the actress this week on a conservative radio show for being pregnant and unmarried…

Huckabee, a baptist minister who ran for the 2008 GOP presidential nomination, said when wealthy actresses have children without being married, they set a bad example for the rest of America.

Clearly, minding your own fucking business is not a cherished American value. If it were, well, there would be no such thing as Mike Huckabee, presidential hopeful. There would only be, Mike Huckabee, guy you’ve never heard of.

And, also, last I checked, Natalie Portman is engaged to the father of her unborn child. (Not that it should matter, but whatever.) And, also, I’m pretty sure she’s a 29-year-old woman who has graduated from Harvard University and is widely considered to be one of the more dedicated and hardworking actresses in Hollywood and only became pregnant after delivering her Oscar-winning performance in an Oscar-nominated film.

But, yeah, I see his point. Terrible example for America.

—Dennis DiClaudio March 4, 2011

Facebook is Egyptian for… As a result of the protests in Egypt, the shutting down of the Internet, and what the site has done for the revolution - an Egyptian man has named is new born baby girl, “Facebook”. That’s right. A perfect way to get BACK at your own government is by humiliating the hell out of your child for the rest of their lives. The recess taunts and name callings have already started in the hospital I’m sure. Let’s be honest, I’m sure the real reason this happened is because the parents decided that “Hatshepsut” was just too hard to say… http://latimesblogs.latimes.com/technology/2011/02/egyptian-man-names-his-baby-girl-facebook.html
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Facebook is Egyptian for…

As a result of the protests in Egypt, the shutting down of the Internet, and what the site has done for the revolution - an Egyptian man has named is new born baby girl, “Facebook”.

That’s right. A perfect way to get BACK at your own government is by humiliating the hell out of your child for the rest of their lives.

The recess taunts and name callings have already started in the hospital I’m sure.

Let’s be honest, I’m sure the real reason this happened is because the parents decided that “Hatshepsut” was just too hard to say…

http://latimesblogs.latimes.com/technology/2011/02/egyptian-man-names-his-baby-girl-facebook.html

Ugh. Well she’s a boob.

~My mother. (In regards to Lindsay Lohan.)

I have no idea exactly what this means, but yes Mom, Lindsay Lohan is a total boob.